Last Saturday we took Blue out for a trip in the car, to give him a different perspective, and to see the world around him.
Just after returning the phone rang, that phone call was one we were expecting, but not the news we wanted.
Blue's results were in regarding the mass removed from his abdomen, it is an aggressive cancer that is incurable, Blue was given 3-9 months to live.
Our world had just collapsed, Blue had sensed something had disturbed us, came over to where I sat on the floor laid down and rested his head in my lap, allowing us to comfort each other. How do you come to terms with a bombshell like that?
Blue will continue to receive our love and devotion until the time arrives for our goodbyes to be said, we are all fully committed, to do what is best for Blue.
Holidays to Scotland in May, have now been abandoned, we will more likely go to the New Forest in Hampshire instead, around about January, this will be as long as Blue is up to it.
Blue has Hemangiosarcoma, which is a cancer that takes different forms in many breeds of dog, also cats. It is not rare especially in large breeds of deep chested dogs, normally found but not exclusively in dogs between 6 - 12 years old. Breeds affected more commonly are German Shepherds,Golden Retrievers, Labradors, and mainly in male dogs.
In Blue's case, his has got into the blood, leg muscle and part of his nervous system, removing the mass will play no better or worse effects in terms of longevity of life.
On Tuesday Blue must return to the Oncology and Soft Tissue hospital in Guildford, where they will be removing his stitches. We have elected for Blue to have Chemotherapy, which will also be administered on Tuesday. To aid further administration of the treatment Blue will have a port fitted just under the skin, which will deliver the medicine directly into a vein. Normally it is fitted up near the neckline, but in Blue's case his will be inserted in his hind leg. No medical reason for doing this, just simply Blue will resist co-operation and handling by strangers, so if you like, put it as far away from his teeth for the safety of others, that's our Blue.
He will be dropped off on Tuesday morning at 7:30 where he will be booked in for treatment, and overnight observation, we will collect him on Wednesday.
It has taken a week for this to truly sink in and come to terms with, Blue Sue and me are now mentally strong to take this path side by side until we reach the inevitable end.
When Blue gives us the signal, we will do the right thing for him, no matter how hard that decision will be, it is about all of us.
- Metacam - liquid on food
- Gabapentin - capsules
- Tramadol - capsules
Twitter and Google plus
We have finally shared this dilemma that faces Blue on Twitter and Goggle+ and the support has been so heart warming, Blue even received a box of gifts, one of which is a monkey that keeps him comforted in his crate "Monkey-Crate-Mate" seen here as a shoulder to lean on
A comforting comment was sent via a direct message to Sue.
"Blue only lives for today, he has no plans for tomorrow"
We have drawn a lot of strength and perspective from that, and will continue to do so. We know there are divided opinions about Chemotherapy, while Blue shows an appetite for life, we will explore all avenues.
Blue now never sleeps alone downstairs, and it would be too difficult for him to safely negotiate the stairs, weeknights he has Sue for company, weekends it is my turn to sleep on the put-me-up, there is never normally more than four hours sleep, as soon as Blue stirs we have been taken him out to the garden for a wee, and he duly obliges, even though sometimes it is a splash and a dash.
Each day we have been taking Blue across the road to do his business on some openland, each day he longingly looks up the road towards the park.
This morning he got his wish, me holding his rope lead, Sue supporting his back legs with a sling, we went to the park, where unaided but still on a lead he got to sniff and stroll around the park for 5 or so minutes, his expression said it all. When he sat down to admire and survey his kingdom, we knew the time was right to to head back; We are now like the proverbial pantomime horse, we all three walk together attached and in unison.
Breakfast was eaten once again with no fuss, and tablets went down a treat, Blue is now resting in his crate, which he sees as his space, his comfort area.
We have not put our life on hold, and will not grieve until Blue has passed over the rainbow bridge, that day will be hard enough, but we will draw strength from those days past, and the new memories we continue to make.